When you decide to uproot your life and leave everything you've ever known behind the first thing someone asks is, "How are you doing this!?" That's a valid question, easier to ask, harder to answer. "How" can mean so many things: How are you able to stay in another country for a year? How are you paying your bills? How are you surviving? I'll answer all of these questions and more in time. But I wanted to start with the most important thing first, the mental "how". How I'm able to leave everything I know behind.
We cling so much to the stuff around us. Stuff meaning actual tangible things like cars, clothes, and iPhones. But also stuff meaning the repetition of life: go to work, eat, get drunk (or high), sleep and repeat. We cling to this stuff because it begins to define us, and to give it up would mean giving up ourselves. I began to feel this in my life, like my stuff was controlling me. I couldn't decide where I was going, my job decided where I was going. Instagram started to describe who I "was" better than I could. And the little money I was making was going right back into the retail environment I was a slave to. Now I don't want this to sound like work is terrible, retail is terrible, Apple is terrible! No, quite opposite actually. What I'm saying is, I let it consume me. And this leads us to why I need a mental vacation.
Getting away is the best thing I can do. My job has helped me grow professionally, my degree allowed me to grow academically, and now it's time to grow mentally. Leaving this town, this state, this country, will allow me to push my understanding of what it means to be alive. This journey is not one I will take alone, I will have the man I love with me. I believe shared experiences are just as important as ones you make on your own.
I'm able to take this jump because I can feel it inside me, it's time. It's now or never.